


Round 'n Round We Go

by Soulhearts



Series: Baby Love [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Castiel, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe, Angsty Dean, Car Accidents, Comfort, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Grumpy Dean, Human Castiel, Lack of Communication, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Dean, Pregnant Dean, Slice of Life, Worried Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-13 09:57:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5703433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soulhearts/pseuds/Soulhearts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a lack of communication between one pregnant Omega and his Alpha. Dean has morning sickness and Cas just wants to help, but Dean doesn't see it the same way. Dean believes that Cas must think him a pathetic Omega, meanwhile, Cas thinks Dean sees him as unreliable. </p>
<p>Round 'n Round We Go - [Mini-series in the 'Baby Love' series].</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Round 'n Round We Go - Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> As stated in the summary, there will be another part to this, so please stay tuned and leave a review if you liked it :)
> 
> Much Love,  
> Soulhearts

**Round 'n Round We Go**

_~Part One~_

It's early when Cas wakes, though he already knows that Dean isn't there beside him. He can tell by the frigidity of the cold sheets he lays on. He isn't sure where his mate is, though he has a few ideas, because this isn't the first morning he's woken alone. His first thought for Dean's whereabouts― _bathroom_ ―is confirmed when he hears the distinct and horrifically sickening sound of Dean throwing up into the toilet. It makes Cas' gut churn, but not because the sound wants to make him haul as well, but because his lover, husband, mate, Omega is in distress and there's nothing Cas' can really do about it. He just has to wait for the morning sickness to pass.  
  
Slinking out of bed at barely a crawl, his husky morning voice cuts through the air, reaching the ears of his pregnant husband.  
  
“Dean?” He tries, feet dusting over the carpet of their bedroom floor as he approaches toward the bathroom. “Are you okay? Do you need help?”  
  
He's first answered by the disgusting sound of vomit hitting the toilet bowl, but a weak voice follows a moment later as Cas pushes open the plain white door to their ensuite.  
  
“I'm fine.” Dean obviously lies, voice shaky and slightly breathless. “I didn't mean to wake you; go back to bed, Cas.”  
  
Cas' eyes fall on his Omega husband, slouched against the rim of the toilet bowl. Dean's pale skin has taken on a slightly greenish tinge and Castiel chooses to ignore his husband's words and instead lowers himself down beside his lover, smoothing the flop of sweat covered fringe away from the even sweatier forehead.  
  
“Oh, Dean…” he sighs and croons all at the same time, tone laced with worry and concern. “I'm sorry this is happening to you.”  
  
The Omega's brilliant, forest green eyes meet his Alpha's, but their usual brilliance doesn't shine through, instead they are dull and Cas can glimmer more than just an ounce of pain that lays behind them as Dean smiles weakly back.  
  
“'S'not your faul' Cas…” he mumbles before turning his face back to the porcelain bowl as the emotion behind his eyes takes on a state of alarm.  
  
Cas watches completely helpless as Dean heaves the remaining contents of his stomach into the toilet. The Alpha can do little more than frown as Dean practically hangs his head over the bowl.  
  
There's at least a full minute of silence between them before Dean blinks a few times, the light behind his eyes getting minutely brighter… Cas thinks.  
  
“I…” Dean's voice breaks, “I think it's over…”  
  
Cas feels relieved, but it's a cautious kind of relief, because he's seen Dean lie about not being in pain too many times to fully believe his words.  
  
“I'll get you some ice water then.” He replies, standing.  
  
Suddenly, he feels a light grip on his pyjama pants and he turns his attention back to the ill man on the floor, entire being softening as he wishes to do nothing more than alleviate and take away all of his pregnant husband's suffering. Being an Alpha is about being strong, but Cas already knows that he is weak to anything concerning Dean. He would fight the whole world just to make sure Dean is okay. He wants to gather the other man in his arms and cradle him until all the pain goes away, no, scratch that, he wants to take the man into his _soul_ and surround him with love and care until he feels well again.  
  
“I'm _fine_ Cas. Go back to bed.” Dean sighs.  
  
“Don't be ridiculous,” Cas almost snorts. His heart is almost leaping from his chest with concern seeing Dean like this, barely able to hold himself upright. “You are not _fine_.”  
  
Dean gives him a wilted pleading look as he grips the edge of the porcelain bowl, knuckles turning a shade whiter.  
  
“Don't you move,” Cas orders and warns at the same time. “I'm getting you some ice-water.”  
  
Dean doesn't mistake the Alpha-order in his husband's voice, he can clearly hear it, but he's never exactly been known for following Alpha-orders. His brother, Sam, even _more_ so. The only Alpha Dean ever listened to was his dad, because his dad commanded his respect and treated Dean with respect himself. His school teachers however, they received none of his obedience. As an Omega, he was expected to follow the rules to the absolute letter―Alpha's never experienced the same expectations of course, it was always "Alpha's will be Alpha's"―but he'd never cared for rules unless they were his father's.  
  
Cas' rules are different though. He can disobey Cas as much as he likes, he will receive no punishment for breaking them, and as much as he wants to shove it all back in Cas' face to prove he isn't a pathetic Omega, he just cannot muster up the strength to do so. He is just too exhausted from vomiting.  
  
So, when Cas returns to give Dean his ice water and help him back to bed, he receives a withering glare―which Cas ignores, having been on the receiving end of it more times than one can count.  
  
“I don't need help.” Dean bites, as moodily as he can manage, shrugging Cas' comforting hands away.  
  
Cas flinches, but releases his Omega without argument. He loves this man. He loves this man because he isn't a useless Omega who expects the world to be given on a silver plater. Dean's fought his battles, knows his place in the world because he's fought for the right of it. Cas just finds that really hard to remember when his affections are being roughly discarded at two-twenty-five in the morning by his suffering lover. Is he really so undependable? Is he really so useless that even Dean refuses to let him help? The thought makes him want to cry, because Dean's _always_ like this, avoiding Cas' help whenever he can get away with it. Even with the bread box the other day, Dean got mad at him for simply getting the box down! Does everyone else see him as Dean must? Unreliable? It seems unlikely, but then why does _Dean_ see him like that?  
  
Cas is shaken from his thoughts when his husband nearly stumbles and falls, but Dean _does_ manage to make it back to bed without Cas' help, though only just, and Cas absolutely _insists_ on tucking him in, which warms something very deep inside Dean's heart, though he'd never admit it aloud.  
  
“I'll see you when you wake…” Cas soothes, whispering into Dean's ear lovingly as he entwines their fingers.  
  
The Omega nods and can't help the little smile pulling at his lips. He knows Cas is just trying to take care of him, he's not quite sure why he's acting almost as gruff as his uncle Bobby, but for some reason, he cannot stop himself.  
  
His eyes flutter closed, the clock blaring the bright blue numbers that tell him it's only two-thirty in the morning, and he sleeps, under Cas' watchful eye until the Alpha himself is lulled into more fitful dreams.


	2. Round 'n Round We Go - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had this written for a couple of days but wasn't sure if it was good enough to post. Genuinely sorry if it sucks... some days there's only a certain amount of effort I can put into things, but I shamelessly hope you like it anyway and thank you if you enjoyed.
> 
> Much Love,  
> Soulhearts

**Round 'n Round We Go  
** _~Part Two~_

Cas pulls his wrists through crisp, white work shirt sleeves and does the cuff-links before buttoning the front. His pants are next and he tucks his shirt in and pins it altogether by doing up the black, leather belt that Dean gave him for Christmas last year.

Throwing on his black suit jacket, he turns to the mirror and tousles his own hair a little―to make it look less like bed hair―before finally allowing himself a worried glance at his sleeping husband.

Cas' eyes soften minutely when he sees a little frown denting Dean's brow, an expression that Cas knows well. Dean must be uncomfortable, he thinks. After all, he knows how unhappy Dean is now that he can no longer sleep on his front. That was his favourite sleeping position. He has irrational nightmares about people burning on ceilings if he ever sleeps on his back, so he compromises and sleeps on his side instead.

“Dean?” He calls softly, knowing Dean won't wake up and answer him, but doing it all the same. He says it mostly for himself, so he can confirm that, yes, his husband is still there,he hasn't gone off any place. Honestly though, that's his deepest, darkest fear. That one day Dean will wake up and leave him. It's about as irrational as Dean's burning ceilings nightmare, he knows, because Dean has sworn his love one-thousand times over and promised that they'll always be together. Hell, he's carrying Cas' child so Cas knows Dean's committed.

He marches around the bed and lowers himself down on the quilt, the mattress depressing under the burden of his weight.

“I hope you feel better when you wake, my love…” he whispers, lowering his lips to gently grace Dean's forehead with them. It's already been an exhausting morning for Dean, he's already re-acquainted himself with the toilet and Cas can see how much the morning sickness takes out of him, simply by staring at his sleeping face.

Dean doesn't stir, not even when Cas brushes a hand along the stubble of his jaw, or when he softly parts Dean's lips with the pad of his thumb. He cannot help but think Dean beautiful, even when asleep and sick. It is when he's dreaming that Cas can see him at his most vulnerable, because Dean doesn't let his guard down. Not ever. Not even around _him_.

They're married and they've got a child on the way, but Cas knows Dean's still defensive. He's always got his hackles raised, always ready for a fight, even though he's an Omega. He understands that this was the way Dean was raised, but he can admit to himself that it bothers him, more than a little. He doesn't expect their marriage to be perfect, but the one thing Cas wants more than anything in the whole world is for Dean to open up and let him _in_. He wants to _understand_ why Dean's always putting up walls. It hurts, because Dean obviously doesn't trust him to keep safe all his secrets. Cas is hopelessly in love with his husband, but Dean never shares anything with him. How he's feeling, what he wants, his goals? None of that. It makes Cas nervous.

“I wish you would share what you are thinking…” he accidentally mumbles aloud.

This time, Dean stirs. A little moan escapes his lips and Cas suddenly finds that he is holding his breath. He freezes, at least until the other settles back into stillness, and then he lets out the air as a tiny little sigh.

After another kiss, a chaste peck, he rises from the bed.

“I'll see you after work.” He says, to his unconscious beloved, snatching his overcoat from the corner chair on his way out.

Finally, once Cas is gone from the room, Dean allows his eyes to snap open and almost immediately he throws an arm across his face.

There's no denying it―the over-protective tone of Cas' words. Dean's an Omega and it's not something he can change, but _god_ , he wishes he could. Even being a Beta would be better than this. Cas thinks he needs protecting, from the outside world _and_ from himself. It's infuriating and controlling.

He makes a snap decision. Moving himself out of bed, he dresses, grabs his keys, wallet and phone and leaves Cas a hastily scribbled note before heading out the door.

* * *

“ _Dean, we have to talk about this.”_

It's less than two minutes since Cas got home―as a husband, Dean knows and notices these kinds of things―but he obviously picked up the phone and called as soon as he'd read Dean's note. Cas' sounds strained over the phone, but Dean isn't really aware of that, all he can hear is the anxious and slightly angry voice that he is oh-so-familiar with.

“About what?” He replies nonchalantly, the phone sitting in the passenger seat on loud speaker.

“ _About why you're avoiding me!”_

“I'm not avoiding you.”

“ _Yes, you are.”_

“No, I'm not.

“ _Yes, you are!”_

Dean lapses into silence. There's no point in arguing, he's only going to be gone for a couple of days so Cas will just have to live with it. He just needs some _breathing space_. He doesn't want Cas doing the “bread-box” thing for the rest of his pregnancy, but he supposes he can't really stop him. What Cas _can_ do for him is give him a little time! Normally, he's fine with Cas' controlling habits, after all, they're not usually this bad, but ever since Cas found out that Dean was pregnant, his grip had tightened. If nothing else, it simply proved to Dean that Cas _did_ in fact see him as a pathetically worthless Omega, pandering to his Alpha's wants.

On the other end of the phone he hears Cas sigh tiredly.

“ _Look, where are you now? I'll come up there with Sam and he can drive the Impala home and―”_

“I'm only going to be at Uncle Bobby's for a couple of days, Cas! It's not like you don't know where I am or what I'm doing! I'll be fine!”

This time it's Cas who goes silent. Then, after a few seconds of nothing but the hum of the Impala's engine, he hangs up, leaving Dean alone in his car.


	3. Round 'n Round We Go - Part 3

**Round 'n Round We Go  
** _~Part Three~_

“So… he just hung up on you?”

Bobby takes another beer from the fridge and pops the cap, taking a thirsty gulp.

“Yep.” Dean answers bluntly, still fizzing over the whole incident.

“Have you considered the possibility that he's just worried about you?” Says Bobby, sighing as he settles into his favourite leather arm-chair.

Dean snorts loudly and abrasively at the voiced thought.

“That seems to be the _problem,_ Bobby. He thinks I'm weak; thinks I'm just a stupid Omega who doesn't know how to take care of himself!” Dean huffs furiously, folding his arms across his chest.

“Come on now!” Bobby replies with just as much volume. “You _know_ that's not true.”

“It might as fucking well be!” Dean explodes, arms flinging into the air.

Bobby goes quiet, sinking back into his chair after leaning forward to argue with Dean, while the other man shoves his face into his hand, running his palm over his stubble and clearing his throat deeply.

“… I'm sorry, Bobby. I shouldn't have shouted.”

“No,” Bobby immediately agrees, the reprimanding tone causing Dean to wince at himself. “You shouldn't have.”

There's another pause in the conversation, but the air between them goes soft when Bobby puts his beer down.

“Look Dean, if you need… _space_ , or whatever you want to call it, then fine, you're welcome to stay here. But if this is just you running off on your own, avoiding _talking_ to the stem of your issue like your daddy used to, then I want you to climb straight back in that car of yours and high tail your butt back home to sort this crap out. I won't be havin' idjits like you in my house who don't know how to sort out their damn problems.”

Leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, Dean stares at his hands guiltily, considering the possibly that Bobby could be right, that this is all just error on his behalf. He pushes these thoughts to the back of his mind quickly though. How is this _his_ fault? Cas is the one with the over-bearing nature, not him. Cas is the one who thinks Dean can't take care of himself or make it through one stupid pregnancy without hurting himself!

“I don't want to go home just yet, Bobby.” He finally says, still staring at his hands, clasped around one another. “I… want some time… alone. Without Cas.”

When he looks up, all he sees is the skeptical, questioning look that tells him Bobby thinks this a bad idea, but the words that leave the old Beta's mouth are just the opposite.

“Alright, if that's what you need, I'm happy to help out. You can stay in the spare room; you know where it is.”

Dean throws him a half-hearted smile and grabs the duffel he packed from beside his chair.

“Thank you, Bobby.” He says, standing.

“Yeah, no problem kid.” Replies the gruff, old man as Dean walks out of the living room, heading for the stairs that lead to the second bedroom.

Dean manages to make it all the way to the second floor without much of a sweat and he pushes the bedroom door open as soon as he reaches it, throwing his stuff down onto the made bed as he waltzes in.

Yeah, it's nice to have a night without Cas worrying all over him. It's nice not to have someone constantly looming over his shoulder, ready for any groan of pain with a handful of painkillers.

It's with these thoughts on his mind that Dean changes from his day clothes to his night maternity clothes, shoving his bag off the bed unceremoniously before switching out the light and climbing in. After driving all day he's pretty tired, and he doesn't worry about keeping Bobby company, the old man's fond of his solitude anyway and enjoys the peace and quiet that running a scrap yard brings him.

Yet, as Dean snuggles into a bed that he'd last occupied as a child, a pang of yearning for Cas hits him and he falls into a dreamless sleep that doesn't seem to bring him comfort.

The next morning starts off much the same and he's awake with the want for Cas' scent before the real reason he woke becomes apparent. In less than two seconds, he's bolting for the bathroom, but he only makes it as far as the kitchen sink before the morning sickness hits with a ferocity he's not yet experienced. The smell of beer wafts around the room dangerously, acting as a trigger Dean hadn't known existed. He hurls violently, the alcohol somehow making it ten times worse than normal and tears leak from the corners of his eyes.

God, he feels awful! He understands why Cas doesn't keep beer in the house anymore. He used to love the smell of beer too, the smell of hops and the quiet promise that it would drown any unwanted memories if he just drank enough of it. Except now it just smells horrible! All it's doing to him now is turning his stomach and making him wish he was closer to the bathroom. He considers making a run for it, but he quickly forgets that idea, already knowing he'll never get that far before his stomach decides to do a back-flip and a circus trick.

With a moan he curses his weak stomach and on the end tail of his thoughts, he catches himself wishing that his Alpha was here beside him, taking care of him.

“What the hell, Dean.” He mutters to himself, shaking Cas out of his mind. “Don't be so goddamn weak.”

This was _not_ how his father raised him. John Winchester told him not rely on anybody but himself, because in the end, it was just you against the world. All that wisdom still held true now. He didn't need Cas and he didn't _want_ him. Didn't _want_ his overbearing manner or his warm hands or his soft words or comforting touch… except, in truth, he did.


	4. Round 'n Round We Go - Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoops! Sorry guys, I thought I'd posted this!

**Round 'n Round We Go  
** _~Part Four~_

 

“Shit.”

Dean doesn't reply to that, but he knows Bobby is irrefutably correct. He _does_ look like shit.

“What happened in here?” Bobby continues, looking around, the smell of vomit making him cover his face with his sleeve―which makes Dean cringe.

“Mornin' sickness.” Dean manages to mumble, to which he earns a knowledgeable 'ah'.

The silence is lasting, but it's not tense, not as Dean had expected it to be.

“Sorry, Bobby.” He whispers, still hanging over the sink with the subtle scent of embarrassment wafting off him. He hadn't meant to wake Bobby, or even for him to see Dean like this. Ever. God only _knows_ what would happen if he was in his dad's house right now and not Bobby's.

“Oh kid,” Bobby replies, softening as he comes over to rub circles on the younger's back, an uncharacteristic move by the usually unapproachable, gruff old man. “You don't have to be sorry.”

“But I threw up in your sink…” His voice is smaller and far to akin to that of a child's than Dean would like. He sounds pathetic.

“Forget it. I'll wash it down later. Focus on yourself right now. Are you gonna throw up any more or do you wanna sit down?”

He wasn't sure he'd be able to make it to the living room without hurling his guts up again, but he sure wasn't loving the smell in the sink either.

“I'll…sit.” He says, lifting away from the kitchen sink, Bobby soon making a grab for him and helping his pregnant ass into a dinning chair.

“I guess breakfast is out of the question, huh.”

Dean grimaces and cringes internally. He hadn't meant to be such a bother, but he was so short sighted that sometimes Sam joked he couldn't see his hand even when it was in front of his face.

“Sorry…” he apologises again, to which there is a long, pregnant pause as Bobby stares at him with an unreadable expression.

Eventually, he can't take the inquisitive look anymore.

“What?” He asks flatly.

With a small sigh, Bobby turns from him.

“Nothin'.” He mutters, heading for the fridge. “It's nothing.”

Dean immediately fires back.

“Don't you give me that!”

“Look,” Bobby huffs, a new frown on his forehead as he faces Dean again. “I'm just wondering if you should call Cas, have him come pick you up…”

Dean lets out a mildly feral growl.

“I told you I don't wanna see him right now!” He barks defensively. “If you won't have me here then―”

“You're right, Dean. That's totally what this is about!” Bobby hisses, unable to take 'Mr.-angry-and-pregnant anymore, pausing the Omega before he realises that Bobby is being sarcastic. The moment is past before Dean can get a word in edgeways, but Bobby is barrelling on, voice full of fire.

“Listen, I seriously think you'd be better at home―and _don't_ think for one-damn-minute that I think you're weak, I know you could give a few Alpha's a run for their money―that's not what this is about. You're pregnant and away from your mate, not a good combination for either of you or that sqee-ball you've got in your oven. I know you don't want my advice, but: go. home.”

Dean grinds his jaw, glaring furiously at the floor.

“Dean…” Bobby sighs a few seconds later, falling into the chair opposite him and grabbing the half empty bottle of whiskey on the table. “I know you're mad at him, but think of the stress you're putting on that kid. You know it's not good to be away from your mate at a time like this.”

“I know.” He whispers, furious anger melting away.

Bobby stares at him hard for a moment, giving him one long look which makes Dean tense uncomfortably. However, the silence is eventually punctuated by the older's gravelly voice.

“I'll go pack your stuff.” He says quietly, making a quick exit from the room and leaving Dean alone to ponder by himself.

He knows Bobby's right, that he's putting undue stress on his unborn baby, but Cas is just so… frustrating. Why is it always him that has to go back and apologise? Just because he's an Omega. He hasn't done _anything_. It's all Cas, all his constant watching and looming, making him feel like he's useless and stupid and weak! He doesn't _want_ Cas to think of him like that, but his being pregnant has simply given his Alpha a reason to stop him from contributing to their marriage, or even his own life. Cas wants so badly to be in control that Dean can hardly stand it. What's even worse is his own deep rooted fear that perhaps Cas is right. Maybe he is just as useless as Cas―and society―views him to be.

When Bobby returns, he dumps Dean's duffel on the table and pulls Dean up into a quick bear hug, wishing him a safe drive home as he ushers him through the living room.

He thanks Bobby, mostly for smacking at least a little bit of reason into him and not putting up with any of his shit like Cas and Sam would've, and Bobby gives him that trademark chuckle and tells him to get the hell outta there with a grin on his lined face.

Dean twirls the car key round his finger and, followed by Bobby, marches out of the old man's house before giving a salute and climbing into his beloved Chevy Impala.

He honks as he pulls out of Bobby's driveway and the old Beta gives him a wave as he leaves dust in his wake.

Riding out onto the open highway, he drives for a few miles before the real guilt starts to eat at him. Cas is probably mad at him, still. After all, the guy hung up on him last time they'd talked…

Dean shakes his head and re-organizes his thoughts. He should clear the air now, _before_ he gets home.

Pulling his cellphone out of his pocket he holds the 'one' button, which is connected to speed dial straight to his mate's phone, which rings once before he's greeted with a tired and worn “Hello”.

“Hey Cas.” He smiles. It makes him feel better simply hearing his mate's voice and he can only imagine how much better he'll feel when he can actually _smell_ him. Listening to the man on the other end suddenly makes Dean feel like his irritation with Cas is stupid and unwarranted.

“Dean!” The voice on the other end of the line immediately perks up and he can hear Cas straightening himself, sitting himself upright. “Where are you? What's going on? What's happened?”

The questions fire rapidly and he has to wait for Cas to stop before he can even think about contemplating his answer. In the end, what he says is relatively simple.

“I'm coming home.”

There's a long pause on the other end of the phone and he's quickly realising that long pauses are going to be somewhat of a _thing_ today.

“Why?” Cas asks, suspicion in his tone. For half a moment, Dean feels rightly offended, but Cas continues on before he can voice this. “What changed your mind?”

“Honestly?” He chuckles, feeling like it's the first time he's even come close to cracking a smile in ages. “Some throwing up in Bobby's sink and the old grump himself is what did it.”

He can almost _hear_ the break of happiness in his Alpha's voice and the relief that's hidden there holds nothing but thankfulness.

“Sam said you just needed time but… I was really worried, Dean. I…”

“Hey, hey, hey,” He mumbles, sensing Cas is close to tears, even though he can't actually see him. He doesn't quite understand why for a moment, but then he realises that Cas is also suffering by being away from him. It isn't just Dean and the baby, Castiel is also stressed by the distance between them―must be some freaky bond thing, which he's learned becomes stronger during pregnancy. “It's okay. I'm coming home. We can talk about this some more then, alright?”

On the other end of the line, Cas sounds suspicious again, even though all Dean can actually hear is silence.

“Cas?”

“Alright,” he replies curtly, before adding more gently: “Hurry home.”

“I'll be there soon.”


	5. Round 'n Round We Go - Part 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took far too long and is a shorter chapter than usual, but don't worry, it's planned this way and the final chapter will be quite lengthy. I hope you stay tuned for it! Also, tags have been adjusted accordingly so please read them in case of any potential triggers, otherwise, happy reading.
> 
> Much Love,  
> Soulhearts

**Round 'n Round We** **Go**  
_~Part Five~_

 

Cas paces. Up and down the hall and through the kitchen.

Dean should be home by now.

Cas crumples his hand into a tight fist and has to fight the desire to punch a hole through something. He doesn't know why, but he feels almost queasy. Dean said he'd be back by now. His Omega hadn't been lying, had he? No, Dean wouldn't do that. Except the voice in the back of Castiel's mind won't not give him peace.

 _'He thinks you're unreliable, Castiel_.' The voice whispers, spreading its doubt and latching onto the seed that has already sprouted in his mind. _'He's gone to find another Alpha, a better Alpha who's stronger and will take better care of him.'_

He tries to shut the voice out, but it continues to sneak back in through the crevasses and cracks in his brain. He thought he was over this. Two days ago, his doubt would have been brushed aside, pushed down into its box, labelled ' _Castiel's Deepest, Darkest Fear',_ but it's all he can do to now keep it from overwhelming him. He tries to remind himself that Dean has promised him his love one-thousand times over, he tries to remind himself that, if Dean didn't love him, if he wasn't truly committed, he wouldn't be carrying Cas' child. It's just really hard to remind himself of these things when Dean is late home by over an hour and all he's managing to do is stalk up and down the hall, impuissant and chained with twisted worry. They've made up, kind of, but the ground underneath them hasn't become any steadier and when Dean does return, Cas' plans to sort everything out. He _will_. No more of this 'running-away-to-deal-with-problems' crap that Dean's still got going on. He _needs_ Dean to open up for him, to tell him what's wrong, because Castiel cannot help him if he's constantly being barricaded against.

He loves Dean, but the doubt of whether or not Dean feels the same way is crushing Castiel, even against all logic and reason. His husband's reticent behaviour only brings his bubbling concern closer to the surface; he's _hardly_ good enough for Dean, he'll be the first to admit it.

Without warning, the shrill sound of the phone ringing causes Cas to jump nearly a foot in the air. After giving himself a second to calm, he hurries to the phone and picks it up, hoping desperately to hear Dean's reassuring voice.

“Cas!”

His stomach sinks into his gut at the voice on the other end of the line.

“Sam,” he forces out, trying to ignore the way his voice cracks with disappointment. “If you're calling for Dean, he isn't back yet―”

“ _Cas!_ ” The other Alpha bellows, silencing Castiel, immediately forcing him to recognise the hysteria in Sam's tone. He's heard Sam hysterical before, but only once. “Dean… he's in the hospital. Car crash.” Sam chokes.

Cas' knees nearly give out right then and there.

He must have misheard Sam, but before he can question again, Sam is telling him which hospital and giving him the address.

“Saint Marks. Forty-two, Saint Marks road. It's opposite Wisteria place.”

Then, as suddenly as the phone had started to ring, Sam hangs up on him.

Cas slams the home phone into its cradle and hurries back to the sink, knowing he won't make it to the toilet before he vomits.


	6. Round 'n Round We Go - Part 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS IT. FINALLY. The last chapter is here. Though this was originally two-thousand words longer, I decided to cut it down to what it is now. I'm so thankful for all who reviewed/left comments and kudos. It means a lot to me!

**Round 'n Round We Go**  
_~Part Six~_

When Dean wakes, he at first, has no idea where he is. The last thing he remembers is passing out in his car. He'd been entering the highway when the car in front of him had stopped abruptly. He'd stopped too, but the car behind him had not, _that_ guy had rammed rear of the Impala, (the bastard). It had been lucky that there had been no one else in the car with him, really, because the back-seat and the trunk had been totalled. Glass had gone everywhere, the back looking like it had dropped off the wheel axle and his stomach had been gently pressed up against the wheel due to the impact of the crash forcing the front seat forward. It was also lucky that the Impala had been made in 1967, because any air-bags would've done nothing but suffocate him. He thanked his lucky-stars that he'd insisted upon keeping the Impala when Cas had suggested getting something more “family-appropriate” for when their baby came along.

He remembers the guy getting out of his car and walking to Dean's window, and more distinctly than that, he remembers watching with the tiniest hint of amusement, the eyes of the other bloke falling to his stomach, his lips whispering with horror, “Oh, shit.”

After that he doesn't recall, he assumes he passed out, but he's pretty sure it wasn't from shock. Relief, probably. He'd felt no weird snaps in his spine and his gut told him that his baby was perfectly fine. There'd been no sharp pains, no waves of nausea. Everything had felt normal.

Lifting his head the tiniest amount, he looks down at his stomach and smiles fondly, the bulge still heavy with solid weight.

The room he is in is silent. There's no trace of nature or man, and that's a little unnerving for him, actually. Hospitals are places full of loud noises, so for half a minute he's simply freaking out in silence, wondering why he can't hear anything past the sound of his own, tense breathing. Then, just as he is about to call out to the empty room, the door opens and sound floods in from the passageway outside.

He hears a gaggle of loud voices, notwithstanding the guttural sounds of his dad, the growls that he knows to be Sam, a high twitter he thinks is Charlie, who sounds to be arguing with… Jo? He's almost sure he can hear Mrs. Harvelle—Ellen—out there too. She and (Bobby?) seem to be arguing with his dad.

He groans noisily, his voice echoing through the room at a volume much louder than intended. _He_ is going to have to sort them all out later, assure and reassure them a multitude of times that he is alright and the baby is okay. After all, he _is_ the reason they're all there, it's no delusion to know that much, and he feels absolutely _god awful_ for worrying them all like he has.

At the sound of his audible grunt, the voices all stop, and for half a minute he holds his breath baitedly. There's no guarantee that his dad won't barge in and yell at him for being so reckless, actually, it seems likely, if Dean was asked his opinion. Yet, just as he's weighing up the likelihood of this actually happening, the door to his room slides open, eyes falling immediately to the figure coming through.

“Cas…” Dean breathes, helpless to the flood of both negative and positive emotions that assault him. It is with an _inordinate_ amount of relief that he sees Castiel, eyes trained on Dean, but forehead crushed into a devastatingly heart-breaking expression of concern. His brain is jumping erratically between joy and worry, mouth operating like a fish out of water until it finds a single word.

“ _Sorry_ …” His voice breaks and the dam holding back the tears suddenly overflows.

He isn't entirely sure what he's apologising for, his behaviour? His crash? Worrying Cas? There's so much he needs to apologise for and the single word doesn't seem like half as much as Cas deserves from him. But Cas says nothing. He stumbles over, folds and envelops Dean in his arms, simply holding onto him like he's clinging onto life itself. The notion comforts him and Dean cannot help the desperate, needy hug he returns, burying his face into Cas' shoulder.

“I though I lost you.”

These are the first words Dean hears from Cas' mouth. They are hushed, whispered so quietly that Dean certainly would have missed them had Cas' mouth not been directly next to his ear.

His words are so _small,_ whispered and broken. They hold none of the authority an Alpha has. They are gut wrentching and tiny.

“What?” Dean whispers in reply.

“Sam said… accident and I… assumed the worst. Dean, I was so scared…”

Dean can feel the wetness of tears on his face from Cas. Pulling back from the Alpha and looking straight into his blue eyes that are misted with intense emotion, he gently brushes away the tears with the pads of his thumbs.

“Cas, I'm fine, see? It's okay, I'm okay.” He tries to comfort, with little success.

Castiel nods for Dean's sake anyway, but he hardly believes his Omega's words. His eyes wander all over Dean's frame, looking for the slightest injury or hurt.

Dean never really put any stock into how distressing an Alpha found it when their mate was seriously injured or close to death, but he was seeing things in a new light. He vaguely recalled hearing from Sam about research done on the subject, which had suggested that Alpha's took on the responsibility of taking care of their brood much more intensely than Omega's did, and if an Alpha lost their Omega, there was a fifty-percent chance of suicide within the next three months, though the rate was only thirty-percent when reversed.

For the first time, that didn't seem like as much bullshit as he'd thought it to be.

“You're really okay?” Cas eventually croaks, voice breaking again with the threat of tears.

Dean nods, running his hand over his Alpha's three-day stubble. Cas looks haggard, he thinks.

Cas nuzzles into his shoulder and Dean lightly cards his fingers through the heavy lengths of hair that lay on the back of Cas' neck.

There is quiet for a while, before Dean dares ask the question plaguing him.

“… What did the doctor say…?”

Cas lifts his head and pulls away as he sits on the bed beside his mate, a curious look in his eye.

“What did the doctor say about the baby?” Dean asks again, this time without the crack in his voice.

Cas' gentle smile tells him all he needs to know, but the Alpha repeats the doctor's words anyway, telling him that the baby seems perfectly fine and healthy and that Dean will probably still carry to full term without any complications.

Dean then lets out a breath of air he hadn't known he'd been holding.

“Good… that's good.” He says, the muscles in his face finally easing out of their strain.

Cas places his hand against Dean's face and he leans into it unconsciously, just as the door opens again and more guests arrive in his hospital room.

Castiel removes his palm from his mate's face and links their hands together, completely missing the way a warm blush crawled up Dean's neck like he was some kind of sixteen year old virgin.

Dean's face de-heats some when Sam comes over and gives him as gentler bear-hug as he could possibly manage given his size, followed by his father and Bobby, both chastising and both relieved at the same time. Ellen and Jo stay at the back of the room, along with Charlie who has taken up occupancy of the only chair in the room. Momentarily he wonders how they managed to convince the nurses to let so many people in his room at one time, but he's glad they're all there.

Especially Cas.

They've still got a long of working out to do. Their relationship isn't perfect, but hell, whose is? And Dean knows they'll be spending a few nights on the couch together, both talking, both working their way through the issues that led up to this misshapen catastrophe that turned out to be somewhat of a blessing in disguise.

But right here, right now, he'll settle for the weighty feeling of a babe in his tummy and Cas' fingers between his.

 

_**TWO MONTHS LATER** _

 

Dean's coffee is cold and horrible, and that's annoying. He'd prefer to be drinking whiskey honestly, but any alcohol is a no go during pregnancy. The doctors say one glass of wine every now and then isn't such a big deal, but Cas has practically forbade it, stealing any drinks Dean might be handed and completely refusing to buy any beer for their house at all. Not only that, but Dean's now out _shopping_ for baby items. He's being god-damn _domestic_ , albeit forcibly. Though, on the up side, it's a little nice to spend some more time with Cas. He's been so lonely at home without anyone to talk to or anything to do. All it's done has made him irritable and grouchy, or at least more so than before.

“Can you think of anything else we might need?” Cas' voice interrupts, his mate's tone light and cheery, the opposite of Dean's internal grumbling.

“No,” he snaps, “I think we've pretty much bought the entire store.”

Cas looks somewhat offended and Dean knows he's being unreasonably harsh towards his mate, he just can't help it. It's the hormones, he's sure. Everything is just so… annoying.

Cas glances over at him every two seconds, a hurt expression upon his face until Dean gives in with a sigh and an apology. He doesn't deserve a mate as great as Castiel, who's kind and understanding and puts up with the excessive amount of faults he has, especially since his pregnancy hasn't exactly been a smooth one, what with a heart-skipping car crash and all that had completely freaked Cas out.

As a distraction from the tension, he picks up a baby rattle in the shape of a lion and flips it over to look at the price tag. Too pricey, but Cas takes it from him and throws it in the shopping cart anyway.

“I know this isn't really your thing Dean and I'm sorry for dragging you all over the place today, I just wanted to see what else we might need for the nursery.”

He knows that's not entirely true. Cas just wanted to get him out of the house, and Dean's glad for it, but his attitude has probably just made Castiel regret this decision.

Dean groans internally at himself. He needs to lighten up, needs to show Cas that he really does appreciate this, appreciates all the care and love his husband showers upon him.

“I know,” he almost whispers in reply, returning the toy to the shelf. “You're going to make a great dad and I'm gonna be the lame one… this kid's gonna hate me. I'm just like my old man… Lord knows how many arguments Sam and Dad got into when he was younger.”

Cas' expression melts as he brushes Dean's hand before linking it with his own and gently tugging in the direction of the exit.

“Is that what this is about?” Cas asks, running his thumb across the back of Dean's hand as they walk. “You're afraid our baby won't like you?”

“No,” he shoots back before thinking on it and conceding. “Yeah… maybe. I dunno Cas.”

For all his bravado, he knows Cas can see right through to his stressed-out, anxious center.

“Dean,” he smiles softly, reassuringly. “This kid's going to love you, no matter what. Besides, you're really nothing like your old man. You're your own person.”

Dean blushes, turning his head slightly to hide his face from his mate. Not that Cas can't smell his flushed embarrassment, but it makes him feel more in control that he can hide himself when he wants to. However, all Cas does is fixes him with that stare, the "you're-my-whole-world-stars-and-universe" stare that turns Dean into a puddle if he returns the gaze for too long.

“You're such a sap, Cas.” He mumbles quietly, so only the two of them can hear.

Cas laughs softly at that and squeezes Dean's hand tighter with a: “But I'm _your_ sap,” as they approach the counter.

Quietly, Dean chuckles.

“Yeah, you're my sap, but soon it'll be you and me,” he pauses to place a hand over his protruding stomach. “Plus one.”

 

**~END**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and staying with me, (the least consistent updater in the known universe) to the very end :)
> 
> Much Love to you all!  
> Soulhearts


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